First off, hey guys! It’s been about a month since I’ve posted and I apologize for that. This month is peak season at my day job, so I’ve been working overtime and chose to devote my little free time to writing my story. I am back now, though! And with this shiny new post. *pets the pretty post*
I’ve had a (VERY) long week followed by a cathartic Screwdriver that produced a profound message in a dream that has woken me up at a five o’clock hour I had not planned on being conscious to witness on a Saturday morning, but here we are because when the universe hands you an answer you don’t just roll back over and say, “Thanks, man, five more minutes, though?”
First off, let me tell you about my week and we’ll move through this chronologically, mkay? Mkay.
A store in our company needed someone to fill in as a temporary manager while the regular one was out sick and waiting for surgery, so I was chosen to go. I’m not an actual manager, but I have received training on how to open and close, how to accept shipments and enter them into the system, that kind of stuff. I was under the impression I’d just be there to do those basic functions. When I got there I found paperwork backed up for over a week, product holes that hadn’t been filled, and shipment info in disarray going back a month.
To say I was overwhelmed is like saying there’s an unexpected storm when a twister drops out of a clear blue sky complete with flying cows and a torrential downpour that sweeps you into a ravine where a hungry carnivorous Sasquatch is waiting with a net to scoop up his supper.
Now, the dream.
In the dream I was attached to a film crew scouting out potential locations while the script was being written (which is probably NOT the actual way those things work, but oh well, at least my dream-self is awesomely employed. Go dream-self!). Halfway through the location hunt, and halfway through the script, the scriptwriter quit and left. The director turned to me and told me to finish it.
Overwhelmed (see a pattern here?) I took the script and did my best to finish writing a story I had no endgame for based on whatever I read in the beginning. It was not my best work and I turned it in feeling awful. The director read it, he hmmmed and squinted at the words. Then he put it back on the table and pointed out two plot points I wrote in but failed to connect in a way that made sense to the earlier material.
“Rewrite the story centering on that,” Dream Induced Director told me.
That’s when the Profound Message from the universe hit me.
You can’t fix anything until you see the entire map.
This message was directed at me for several points in my life. I’m 9/10’s of the way done with my fan fiction Big Bang and have felt overwhelmed because it’s definitely not my best work. Then my day job turns into a sudden war zone of paper piles, unhappy customers, and a fear-of-failure-fest.
But, looking back on this week, I can see how I already practiced this message, I just didn’t realize it.
After I took in the full extent of the job in front of me this week (and discarded the idea of laughing as I peeled out of the parking lot to go home because fuck steady pay) I breathed in deep, told myself I could do this, and gave the knee-high stack of papers a Clint Eastwood-esque look of determination sans gun pointing (though that might have been therapeutic).
It took me half the day to sort the papers into any kind of order, but once I did I had my full picture. I could see what went wrong on some of them and what I needed to do to fix it. The fixing part took the rest of the day, but once the initial sorting process was done the road to the finish line was clear. Ish.
That situation reflects how I feel my story has become: chunky, messy, plot lined buried and lost or abandoned amid piles of unrelated crap and the odd note with smudged writing.
It can be fixed the exact same way, though.
Look at whole picture.
Then attack the carnivorous Sasquatch with the waterproof chainsaw you’ve had in your pocket all along because you’re a bad ass mofo that doesn’t have time to play with hungry cryptid creatures. You now have a story to fix.
And that is my take on life and editing.
*this blog post is brought to you by Vodka and the Universe via Awesome Dream and Shitty Week